Single in the City – The First Time

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You never forget your first time. There are a million thoughts buzzing through your head and your hormones are in a frenzy trying to cope with all the feelings, trying to calm you down hoping you’ll start thinking rationally and stop yourself before you cross that thin line into adulthood from which you can never come back.

You feel nervous and guilty; you don’t know if you are doing the right thing, if this is the right time, if you are indeed ready. Your head tells you not to trust this person, not to let this person have so much power over you that you can no longer think straight.

You feel scared; you know that if this turns out to be good, that if you end up enjoying it, if it actually does give you the kind of pleasure that no one can truly describe, you will want more of it. But you don’t want anyone to know, you don’t want to get caught. You know that if anyone finds out, not only will that destroy your reputation; your parents will probably kill you. But thoughts of this have consumed you for weeks, since it was first suggested. You always wondered about it, but it had never felt like a possibility. Now, it was real, it was happening. And you knew you didn’t have the power to say no.

Your friends had prepared you for it; warned you about the initial awkwardness, the hesitance before you finally push all thoughts out of your head and just go for it; they tell you about how it stings initially, but the pain recedes and is, with time, replaced by sensations of a totally different kind.

You feel excited; this was something forbidden, socially unacceptable and yet, everyone one of your friends had already done it. You couldn’t be the only one who hadn’t. Your friends had prepared you for it; warned you about the initial awkwardness, the hesitance before you finally push all thoughts out of your head and just go for it; they tell you about how it stings initially, but the pain recedes and is, with time, replaced by sensations of a totally different kind. Yes, they tell you a lot of things; give you lots of advice, dos and don’ts. They tell you not to lose control and make sure you know how much your body can handle. They warn you about the morning after, tell you to keep the pills at hand just in case things don’t go as planned (or do).

Yet, no one warns you about that moment where you have your crisis of conscience. No one tells you that the instant before you are about to take that last step, your heart sinks, your last few shreds of innocence scream out to you, pleading with you to stop. No one tells you about the darkness of those few seconds as you leave it all behind, to lose the shell of your childhood that protected you, to finally fall from grace.

You don’t anticipate the pleasure either; the heat that seems to seep into every pore, that makes every inch of you reverberate with gratification. Tranquility takes over with every passing moment; you let yourself go, let yourself feel everything that you had been trying to suppress; the happiness might be an illusion, but the craving for a few moments of joy, no matter how tainted, is stronger than all logic.

You develop a cold nonchalance for the world; nothing else matters except how good you feel.

The feeling lasts for a while before the final burst of pleasure. Your body has had enough; you can no longer make sense of what is going on, the world seems to sway and every inch of you appears to explode with ecstasy before you finally pass out.

They were right about one thing though; the hangover is a bitch.

Comments
7 Responses to “Single in the City – The First Time”
  1. Darioush says:

    Wow! Shouldn’t you keep this very private though?!

  2. MAZ says:

    I’m confused now…. did you just describe your first sexual encounter or your first swig at the blessed bottle?

  3. SerialMasturbator says:

    Sex or the Bottle both had the same experience for the first time though slightly different for man as it’s hot on the throat but couldn’t resist to have more 😀 very well written!!

  4. MrSingle says:

    What you mentioned is true for many but not all; some people have more control than others and can do away with such temptations. Furthermore, you being a women, should be very careful considering trusting the wrong one might be a nightmare (you wont understand this unless you have experienced it and I hope you don’t) — Please don’t blame me for gender discrimination, I am just being realistic!

  5. Who am I? says:

    MrSingle, you missed the dot (.) and a space (_) in haste.

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