Single in the City – Written in a Fairytale

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The first time I asked my mother what love was, she answered with a single word.

“Shakespearean.”

I, of course, a naïve teenager, took it in entirely the wrong context. With limited knowledge of anything Shakespearean, I only thought of the passionate love of Romeo and Juliet, immortalized by their deaths. I conjured in my mind images of a handsome man who would feel strongly enough for me to defy family and society just to catch a glance of me on the balcony on a moonlit night; one who would compose sonnets for me praising my beauty, to whom my face would appear everywhere he looked, for whom my every wish, every whim would be a sacred command and who, when the time came, would be willing to give up his life rather than live a moment without me.

Now, nearly at the end of my twenties and having gotten more educated in the works of Shakespeare, I realize the truth of my mother’s answer. What she really meant, was that love was a chimera; nothing, but an altering of the senses. Nothing about love was real; a momentary illusion almost spiritual in nature, like swallowing a little purple pill. And once it fades, leaves behind only anxiety and paranoia, a sense of emptiness that could only be eradicated by another dose and so, you are emotionally obsessed, if not physically addicted.

Sometimes, I wish someone had written me in a fairytale.

Then, at least, I would be assured that my life would have a happy ending.

No matter how impossible my dreams might seem and no matter how difficult the obstacles were, no matter how much the world would seem to work against me, it would be inconsequential. I would know, that when my story reached its last page, it would read only one thing

“And they lived happily ever after”

The world where I live, everyone looks down on love and everyone secretly craves it. They see love as a disadvantage, creating expectations and automatically setting one up for failure. And yet we all desperately wish for it to happen to us so that for once we may intoxicate our senses with something more natural and exponentially more destructive.

So we settle for something baser, we settle for lust. We forgo emotional companionship for physical; one that is easily forgiven and more importantly, forgotten.

To write the truth about your own life takes courage; not because you are afraid of being discovered, but what you might discover about yourself. You must pretend that you are inscribing your thoughts in sand; to be washed away immediately by the sea so that even you might not have a chance to read it.

So here is the truth. I love, love. I have become a victim to its seduction many times. And at the end of each of my love stories, I emerge a greater fool than I was the last time I let myself fall in love; each time more determined to find my happy ending. Really, I never learn.

Henceforth, I will use this blog to understand why it is I am still single. Why a gorgeous, intelligent woman like me swimming in a sea of lonely, desperate and not entirely unfortunate looking men finds herself without a ring on her finger, endless money to buy lawn suits, in-laws to bitch about and a divorce lawyer on speed dial.

Comments
7 Responses to “Single in the City – Written in a Fairytale”
  1. Haris says:

    Hey Single,

    The reason for being single is that men have double standards like “Girlfriend should be different from Wife”. So next time you fall in love act like a potential wife ad you will soon be hitched. 🙂

    Goodluck.

  2. pyarelal says:

    Love is give and take, mutual respect for each other.

  3. Fahad says:

    Its a beautiful description of feelings in this piece.. It discusses the side of an urban living late twenties single gorgeous intelligent lady.. a situation very much prevalent in our society but about which nobody talks.. Will be looking up for more.. Hope you write them every week..

  4. MrSingle says:

    An individual “x” is in love with an individual “y” if he/she wants his/her happiness and expects nothing but his/her happiness in return. That’s my definition of love and to be honest, love, as I defined it, can happen only once in a lifetime. It may depend on individual as well considering some confuse infatuation with love and flings with a proper relationship however “true love” or as I defined it is something worth experiencing and there are no regrets if one falls in love as I have defined it as there are no expectations and the only concept is “give, give and give more” and simply walk away if you are no longer wanted (if that’s whats going to make him/her happy and his/her life easier) and expect nothing.. obviously, if you expect nothing from day 1 and are convinced that you’re only going to strive for his/her happiness then walking away shouldn’t give you a heartbreak even if he/she chooses someone else considering that’s whats going to make him/her happy.

  5. Hassan says:

    Nice piece.

  6. S says:

    The damned fairy tale, I am so keeping my daughter away from that. If anyone watches SATC remember Carrie reading out the fairy tale to Charlotte’s daughter and ending it with the caveat that “it doesn’t always end that way…so you know”

    We unfortunately are the generation of women who pretend to be too cool to fall for the idiot but more often than not we do. Here’s the silver lining for you though once you end up with the a “lonely, desperate and not entirely unfortunate looking” man you may wonder what the fuss was all about and be getting in touch with that lawyer on your speed dial sooner than you think!

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